Thursday, October 11, 2012

Self Belief versus Pride?

Self Belief versus Pride:  How do you tell the difference?

I ask the question because I find myself in a slump.  Simply put, I have no sense that anything I do in virtually any aspect of my life - professional, personal, physical, relational - will have the slightest bit of impact in actually changing something.

Some - including some authors who I enjoy and respect - would say that this is due to a failure of self belief in my life, that by lacking any belief that I can do something or change something I doom myself to the unchanged life.  Simply change my beliefs and change my life.

Am I wrong in thinking this is too simplistic of a solution?

I don't say simple advisedly - I have come to appreciate the value of the simple versus the complex.  What I do question is the concept of self-belief being catalyst alone of change.

Which gets me to my second issue:  that of self belief versus pride.  What is the dividing line?  I have seen those without any self-belief but a towering pride in what they have accomplished.  I have seen those with self belief that were clearly bereft of anything to get them to their destination (too often, I feel myself in this camp).  I have seen those with self belief and pride that have achieved their goals, only to be reveled as individuals of cramped souls and small minds.

Maybe the problem is within myself.  Self belief has never really been a burden I have had to bear.  Even when I am skilled at what I do, I hardly feel that I can do it to any great extent.  And those times I have had the self belief, it was revealed that the belief was mostly in my mind; there is nothing more embarrassing to others than someone towering in their belief in their abilities even as the evidence belies them.

Perhaps the difference is pride that I am better than others and self-belief is the belief that I can.  Pride is outward based on others, self-belief is an inward based on others.

Is there another option? Pride can drive someone to do something and self-belief can drive someone to do something - but what if either of those is missing?  Is there another factor that can start the process to get one over the edge and back on track?

Because missing pride or self-belief as motivators, all that remains is the dull gray black of twilight which never seems to make it to dawn.

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